Out there.....

I have just purchased a coat of eBay that according to the description will make me look like Dirty Den off Eastenders. Since I don't watch such depressing drivel I will live in blissful ignorance, but aslong as he keeps his receding hair line and short hair I don't think I'll be getting people coming up to me in the streets saying "Y' tha' man off tha telle aint ya?", something nobody wants. To get this coat I first had to deal with my sisters superiority complex over everything eBay, me being the eBay virgin and her being the eBay...well, anyway, after that was over came the Battle Of The Chequebook. I don't usually have much money on me incase slightly more enthusiastic "Y' tha' man off tha telle aint ya?" people come up to me in the street and get carried away, and because I usually spend it whenever I come into contact with it, so I couldn't pay my mum when I wanted her to write out the cheque, and being the honest guy I am, pay her when money was shortly to find it's way to me, an idea wasted on some. So a ball point pen, forged signature and five minutes later, came the Battle Of The Postage Stamp, a battle much like the previous skirmish. So a pencil, a sketch Da Vinci would have been jealous of and five minutes later I was out into the night and down the road to the post box. I haven't seen the night from that side of the glass in almost a year, and I tell you, I was flippin' scared. I was wearing a Welsh rugby top, jeans, sandles, this isn't a bad area but I would still preffered at least one of those garments to be made of Kevlar. It's in situations like that, that you find out how creative your brain actually is: if you have a nice strole down the road, you have no imagination; if you avoid a couple of bushes and shadier areas, you have alittle imagination; if you see seventeen people jump out of bushes, stare out of windows and generally acting violently towards you, congratulations you're an artist with problems, or like me just got the problems. If a car pipped its horn my head would have exploded. Before the next time I win an eBay bid I am going to watch a few dozen Bruce Lee movies and take notes.

Stay safe.

Nitey nite.