Friday, September 17, 2004

Me. Myself. And my uvula.

A uvula is a fleshy part of the soft pallet which hangs down at the back of the throat. It helps with guttural sounds in speech but can't be too important as some people have had the uvula partly or completely removed. It is formed when the two halves of the soft pallet fuse and as a result some people can have an inverted Y shaped uvula, or even more uncommon is to have two separate pieces of flesh. And against the thoughts of my associates (you know who you are), it is no part or function of any sex organs in either gender. Get an infection on your uvula, and it hurts, hurts like someone is trying to brand the back of your throat with the hottest, pointiest lump of iron known to man. This is a picture of my uvula in its present form.



That white spot in the center of the picture, that is sitting on my uvula. I say sitting, I mean squatting. I say squatting, I mean setting up a shanty town while a mining effort is made to burrow its way into my flesh using tiny pick axes of flame. That picture is taken as I am screaming in agony. Any food at or above room temperature feels like razor blades, below and every couple of swallows isn't too bad. At the moment I'm trying to perfect the ancient innuit party trick of holding a glass of ice water (volume, not the actual glass you understand) and a trout in the back of my throat for long periods of time. The ice water kind of soothes the pain, although steam has been know to rise from my mouth, and the trout thrashing about is entertaining the little ones in the sixth form center.

To try to evict the miners I've been given a concoction of drugs. There's some Penicillin I've been told to take, but these have to be taken four times a day on an empty stomach, or an hour before eating. There isn't a single occation when either of criteria are satisfied. And some mouth wash which is supposed to be the Agent Orange of the mouth wash world, except it's green. I'm knocking this back by the gallon as if you try to eat anything it washes away. Anyway, this is only day two of the treatment, so at my current rate it should be too painful to eat anything by tomorrow morning so I can take the pills. Yay.

I'll keep you posted.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Got it 2 days ago myself, how exciting... on the back of the uvula though, so not as bad as the front. It's getting bigger each day :O

4:27 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did it get better after a few days? Did you get it looked at? I just got this myself and I'm wondering if it goes away on its own.

3:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whats the deal did it get better? is this a waiting game?

6:20 pm  
Blogger Unknown said...

I got it a couple days ago too

8:58 pm  

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