I am not Hugh Grant

I've just finished watching 'Three to Tango' on the telly. I'm a total sucker for these kinds of films. I've seen them all ('all' meaning those shown on channels one through four): I'll always make time for 'The Wedding Singer'; if I'm channel hopping and I happen to find 'Notting Hill' or 'Four Weddings and A Funeral' I probably won't be hopping any longer. I do tend to avoid some as they are absolutely dreadful, but they say remain nameless *cough* 40 Days and 40 Nights *cough*.

It's my observation that all romantic comedies follow the same basic structure with only names, settings and dialogue in flux between them:

• Boy works either for himself or at a glamourous company
• Girl works (if at all) where ever it is easy for her to meet boy
  
• Boy meets girl
• Boy and girl cannot be together
• Boy and girl have incredible chemistry
• Something goes wrong, usually a misunderstanding, and boy and girl have to have scenes apart where they are shown to have zero productivity, mass amounts of staring into space and leaning against any local momuments
• One, usually the boy, makes an incredible gesture, usually in a public place
• Boy and girl can be together no matter what was keeping them apart in the first place
  
• Boy and girl live happily ever after
• Credits run along side boy and girl frolicking around
  

Why do people watch these? Because they are utter fantasy, due mainly to point seven.

Can I make this about me now?

Being an introvert I mainly spend my time (free or otherwise) daydreaming about how great a guy I could be under the right circumstances, being more of a sci-fi geek than a fantasy geek only twenty five percent of these delusions feature me with wings. And due to my disposition day dreams mainly nod towards the points mentioned above, I'm like the Hugh Grant of Yetiland (not to be confused with Yetiville). Even though I'm a sci-fi geek, no aliens are present in Yetiland.

However, this being, as you would say, the real world none of this is going to happen. Ignoring points one and two, I think the furthest I've ever got is point five, however, being a rather mediocre person swap 'incredible' for 'maeh'. Oh! how I would like to deliver Han Solo's "I know" in response to Leia's "I love you", if I've spoilt that for anyone where the hell have you been? But the fact is I'll never be in carbonite chamber and surrounded by storm troopers. Also I'm quite terrible at reading people, I could easily give a long and (what I would feel to be) heartfelt speech to a person I thought that loved me and they would turn around and say "Oh, that's sweet. Have you met Paolo?".

Damn film makers messing with impressionable teenage minds.

This is Duke Captain Yeti of the First Fleet Flagship Super Battle Cruiser Indestructible en route to fight an unstoppable alien invasion of my sweetheart's home planet, signing off.