Cogaime
Once upon a time, a young Yeti not a million miles from here asked his dad what the thing on the table he was working on was. His dad picked him up and put him on his lap and said "This son, is a computer" he then went on to show his son what could be done on this strange white buzzing box the young Yeti had never seen before. And when his dad had finished showing him this new machine and telling the young Yeti "how powerful a tool a computer is" he tried to maximise from the taskbar what he was working on. He clicked on the little rectangle several times but nothing happened. The young Yeti knew something was wrong and hopped off his father's lap and went out of the room to play with his Lego. The young Yeti's first memory of a 'computer' 'crashing' was the sound of his dad hitting the keyboard in the next room.
The next day the young Yeti went to his friend's house. The young Yeti's friend had seen a computer before and was allowed to use it, he showed the young Yeti what he could do on it, and what games he could play. The young Yeti starred blankly at the black screen that didn't change for a very long time, not knowing what to expect from this game in the white buzzing box: his friend hadn't handed him any dice. Suddenly, the screen turned white, the young Yeti brought up his hand to block the dazzling light. Four blue letters made of massive blue squares materialised on the screen, so big were the letters that the young Yeti had to use his whole hand to cover up the last bit of the word, and then the first part of the word to sound the word out. Se. Ga. "What's Seegar?" the young Yeti asked his friend. "It's Sega" replied his friend with a twinkle in his eye. The four blue letters were then replaced by a picture of a portion of a blue circular saw with arms and legs, and underneath the picture were the words Sonic the Hedgehog. All in massive squares. The young Yeti's friend then set the blue circular saw hurtling around forests, and sewers and spaceships at breakneck speeds. The young Yeti starred open mouthed and knew that his life would never be the same. When the young Yeti's friend grew bored of the speedy power tool and left to play with his Lego, the young Yeti got up from off the floor and sat on the chair infront of the white humming box. He placed his hands on the thin rectangle his dad tried to break the day before. The scaled down saw mill moved, but try as he might, the young Yeti couldn't make the square blue thing fly like his friend could. When the young Yeti's friend came back and saw that the square blue thing wasn't flying but barely limping along he laughed and pointed at the young Yeti. The young Yeti felt bad. That was when the young Yeti made a pact with himself to become better at the game than his friend and surprise him how good he was next time he went to his house.
Some time later, the young Yeti, his mum, his dad and his sister went to the mall. The young Yeti told his mum and his dad that he wanted the game he saw at his friend’s house, he poked his sister in the back as they walked. The young Yeti's mum and dad took the young Yeti to the shop they thought they could buy the game from. When they arrived at the shop the young Yeti looked in awe at the unbelievable amount of games on the unbelievable amount of shelves that towered above his head. The young Yeti had thought the square blue thing was the only game there was. And although the shop was full of older intimidating boys, the young Yeti walked around the shop trying to look at all the games they had.
I have a confession to make, that young Yeti was me.
That's pretty much when the computer game drug got me. From that point on every pound I could lay my hands on was spend on computer games, they say cocaine is addictive sheesh. If there was a game I really wanted but didn't have enough money, I'd buy two games from the budget shelf. I don't think it really mattered what the game was as long as it was a computer game. Over the past few years I can easily say I've bought hundreds of pounds worth of computer games, each one of them holding my attention for maybe a month, tops. Although this lack of attention span per game is probably attributed to my absolute in ability to play them: I had five games free when I finally managed to convince my parents to get me a PlayStation for Christmas and one of those games was Driver. The first level of Driver requires you to do several driving tricks in an underground garage in under a minute without trashing the car. I trashed the car, every time, this meant that game was instantly useless. Then there was Quake 2, I'm a jumpy person, when the god-knows-what enemy of massive squares ambles onto the screen I jump and panic, not a good reaction for progressing in that kind of game. Civilization games, it has a button that will allow you to cheat, what more can I say? This button was pressed all the time. Alien Vs Predator, see Quake 2. And so it goes on and on for year and years.
One of my latest additions to my museum of games is The Sims 2. I kinda bought this on solely it's hype and the look of it's graphics. I should have known better. I should have remembered why I stopped playing the orginial Sims, because it was mind numbingly boring. The only thing I got out of it was building the houses, making the families. I even made a www.doodles.tk family members including me, Agatha my virtual wife, Paige our daughter (I was going for the pun of Web Paige) and our butler Trevor, who if any of you have been on this page long enough will know he was this blog's butler, but he has sadly passed away because I don't write about him anymore. Making a family for the blog, and building them a house to live in (Trevor had his own bachelor pad/cuboard) was fun, but looking after them was boardering on stressful. Keeping them all happy and in time for work was enough to bring me to exit without saving the game.
Recently my computer game buying ways have died down, I might buy a game a year now, this I but down to spending all my money on many books, and the geriatric of a computer I own. I have a game in my draw that I can't play on because the graphics card it needs makes the graphics card I've got look like a cheese cracker. And that's the only thing I pretend to understand, any new piece of software made after 2001 makes this machine want to put its false memory in a glass of oil and go to sleep.
Oh well, at least I still have minesweeper.
The next day the young Yeti went to his friend's house. The young Yeti's friend had seen a computer before and was allowed to use it, he showed the young Yeti what he could do on it, and what games he could play. The young Yeti starred blankly at the black screen that didn't change for a very long time, not knowing what to expect from this game in the white buzzing box: his friend hadn't handed him any dice. Suddenly, the screen turned white, the young Yeti brought up his hand to block the dazzling light. Four blue letters made of massive blue squares materialised on the screen, so big were the letters that the young Yeti had to use his whole hand to cover up the last bit of the word, and then the first part of the word to sound the word out. Se. Ga. "What's Seegar?" the young Yeti asked his friend. "It's Sega" replied his friend with a twinkle in his eye. The four blue letters were then replaced by a picture of a portion of a blue circular saw with arms and legs, and underneath the picture were the words Sonic the Hedgehog. All in massive squares. The young Yeti's friend then set the blue circular saw hurtling around forests, and sewers and spaceships at breakneck speeds. The young Yeti starred open mouthed and knew that his life would never be the same. When the young Yeti's friend grew bored of the speedy power tool and left to play with his Lego, the young Yeti got up from off the floor and sat on the chair infront of the white humming box. He placed his hands on the thin rectangle his dad tried to break the day before. The scaled down saw mill moved, but try as he might, the young Yeti couldn't make the square blue thing fly like his friend could. When the young Yeti's friend came back and saw that the square blue thing wasn't flying but barely limping along he laughed and pointed at the young Yeti. The young Yeti felt bad. That was when the young Yeti made a pact with himself to become better at the game than his friend and surprise him how good he was next time he went to his house.
Some time later, the young Yeti, his mum, his dad and his sister went to the mall. The young Yeti told his mum and his dad that he wanted the game he saw at his friend’s house, he poked his sister in the back as they walked. The young Yeti's mum and dad took the young Yeti to the shop they thought they could buy the game from. When they arrived at the shop the young Yeti looked in awe at the unbelievable amount of games on the unbelievable amount of shelves that towered above his head. The young Yeti had thought the square blue thing was the only game there was. And although the shop was full of older intimidating boys, the young Yeti walked around the shop trying to look at all the games they had.
I have a confession to make, that young Yeti was me.
That's pretty much when the computer game drug got me. From that point on every pound I could lay my hands on was spend on computer games, they say cocaine is addictive sheesh. If there was a game I really wanted but didn't have enough money, I'd buy two games from the budget shelf. I don't think it really mattered what the game was as long as it was a computer game. Over the past few years I can easily say I've bought hundreds of pounds worth of computer games, each one of them holding my attention for maybe a month, tops. Although this lack of attention span per game is probably attributed to my absolute in ability to play them: I had five games free when I finally managed to convince my parents to get me a PlayStation for Christmas and one of those games was Driver. The first level of Driver requires you to do several driving tricks in an underground garage in under a minute without trashing the car. I trashed the car, every time, this meant that game was instantly useless. Then there was Quake 2, I'm a jumpy person, when the god-knows-what enemy of massive squares ambles onto the screen I jump and panic, not a good reaction for progressing in that kind of game. Civilization games, it has a button that will allow you to cheat, what more can I say? This button was pressed all the time. Alien Vs Predator, see Quake 2. And so it goes on and on for year and years.
One of my latest additions to my museum of games is The Sims 2. I kinda bought this on solely it's hype and the look of it's graphics. I should have known better. I should have remembered why I stopped playing the orginial Sims, because it was mind numbingly boring. The only thing I got out of it was building the houses, making the families. I even made a www.doodles.tk family members including me, Agatha my virtual wife, Paige our daughter (I was going for the pun of Web Paige) and our butler Trevor, who if any of you have been on this page long enough will know he was this blog's butler, but he has sadly passed away because I don't write about him anymore. Making a family for the blog, and building them a house to live in (Trevor had his own bachelor pad/cuboard) was fun, but looking after them was boardering on stressful. Keeping them all happy and in time for work was enough to bring me to exit without saving the game.
Recently my computer game buying ways have died down, I might buy a game a year now, this I but down to spending all my money on many books, and the geriatric of a computer I own. I have a game in my draw that I can't play on because the graphics card it needs makes the graphics card I've got look like a cheese cracker. And that's the only thing I pretend to understand, any new piece of software made after 2001 makes this machine want to put its false memory in a glass of oil and go to sleep.
Oh well, at least I still have minesweeper.
1 Comments:
tetris! i have it on my cellphone...it's the only game i play regularly.
i actually started a four year relationship because of this game.
so don't worry yeti, the game-nerd-syndrome might be a good thing to some hottie out there. use your skills wisely.
Post a Comment
<< Home